How to Stop Worrying About Money
Million dollar beach views: Free!
On a recent group coaching call, the speaker, a woman who’s earned upwards of $100k in a single month from brand partnerships and online course sales, said it wasn’t too long ago that she worried paying for a parking meter would make her destitute. She’d drive around in circles, looking for a free parking spot, because she was sure that by putting coins in the meter, she was paving her own way to being homeless.
I can relate.
For me, it’s buying gas and groceries. My thought pattern is: Will I regret this? Will my bank account drop so low that I look back and wish I’d just eaten refried beans instead of this jar of capers? Who am I to think I should be spending this money?
The irony is that I feel this inner judgment more intensely when purchasing necessities. I might even buy something nice for myself the same week, like a new pair of pajamas, and not feel bad.
I recently hit a wall and became sick and tired of feeling like I’d touched a hot plate every time I paid for something. I decided to do a deep dive on the “money mindset” books I’d gotten recommended over the years.
Maybe, like me, you’ve heard axioms like “money is energy” and “money likes to flow, you have to spend to receive.” I think I’ve avoided these money mindset books because, while I’d love for these things to be true, I feared they wouldn’t work (for me). Being a skeptic, it was important for me to get to a place where I didn’t care if changing my mindset brought in more income, but that it is reward enough to release the stressful mental patterns.
How Mindset Affects Money
To bridge the mystical and practical, let’s consider something I learned in Happy Money by Ken Honda. Regardless of your income, your expenses, your industry, or where you live, say that you feel secure. Maybe you have great friendships or simple pleasures like walking in nature on your lunch break. With this mindset of confidence and security, aren’t you more likely to take creative risks at work, pitch new ideas, or offer to help others?
Tips for Changing Your Money Mindset
From various podcasts, books, and live coaching sessions, I’ve summarized my takeaways on how to worry less about money . If you are on a similar journey, I hope this is helpful for you!
Accept Compliments
Think back to the most recent compliment you received. Do you remember how you reacted? Did you minimize yourself with “Oh, I got it on sale”?
People can only appreciate us as much as we appreciate ourselves. There’s a direct correlation between how we talk about our work and accomplishments with how we react to compliments. It’s hitting the same zone in the nervous system.
Practice high self-worth by accepting compliments. Take a deep breath, smile, and say “Thank you.” It will become easier!
Say “Thank You” When You Spend and Earn Money
In the introduction, I exposed my own dark, stressful thoughts when I pay for simple weekly necessities. Generally, we all make a few purchases each week, maybe even every day. If you’ve been on a rollercoaster or a cycle of stress, think of how much shift could take place if you used every purchase as an opportunity to redirect your thoughts. “Wow, I am able to purchase something to nourish my body, or otherwise support my lifestyle. Go me!”
Sometimes, we buy things and we don’t know if they’ll be beneficial. But we’re giving ourselves the chance!
The second part is to be grateful when you earn. I am not earning the level of income that I would like to be, but, when I got this advice in Ken Honda’s Happy Money, I had to acknowledge that when I do earn money, I earn it doing something meaningful. I sell books. I teach yoga. I give reiki. I’m grateful for the chance to improve the lives of other people. If you are doing a job you don’t like, can you be grateful for the skills it helps you develop, the people you get to interact with? The temporary support until you find something more meaningful?
Focus on Inner Resources
In The Soul of Money by Lynne Twist, she says the turning point for people who were down on their luck (think: expensive divorce, regional famine) was when they shifted their attention to internal resources, rather than the stress of what had gone wrong.
The first time I did this exercise, I came up with a list that resembled skills off a resume. Things I’d gotten paid for at previous jobs. The more I reflected, the more I was able to recognize capabilities that are inherently mine: for example, an ability to learn new things, and a warmth towards both listening and helping people that even new acquaintances acknowledge. These will translate no matter if I’m teaching yoga, doing keynote speeches, or being a server at a restaurant.
Go Have an “Most Magnetic Day”
I developed this practice from a manifestation community I’ve been a member of for the past few years, To Be Magnetic. One of their teachings is the Most Magnetic Self, which is a version of you who is authentic and confident. In a meditation, I was able to brainstorm that this version of me goes on walks by the ocean, smiles at strangers, eats lunch on a patio, reads, and journals.
At a time when I felt particularly hopeless, I canceled everything and went and had this day. It was wild how giving myself free time (and spending less than $20 on food and coffee) broke up the sense of dread. By the end of the day, I not only felt at peace, but began to feel motivated and also had a flow of ideas for how I could make changes in my life.
Evidence Journaling of Past Successes
In Happy Money, Ken Honda provides a list of archetypes around money. You probably already know if you struggle more with spending or with earning. For most people, it’s one or the other, but there are more nuanced dynamics, like someone who overworks, gets burned out, then splurges on something they don’t need due to the stress.
So here, we want to do the opposite. Make a list of all the times you’ve spent or earned in ways that were meaningful. Especially if there was risk or creativity involved.
Be sure to include those moments you thought all was lost, but through your own inner resources, you recovered!
For example, I moved to New York in 2012 after a layoff with very little savings. It worked out. I got a great job and found great roommates. In graduate school, I was unhappy with the first place I lived, and splurged on a studio sublet that was a shorter commute to my early morning classes. It meant spending a lot more of my student loan money, but—it was such a boost in happiness that I was able to perform and learn at a higher level, and get the most out of the huge investment I was making. There are other things, like Lunya pajamas or a $400 handbag that maybe seemed out of my budget at the time, but brought me a lot of joy. I bought them and nothing bad happened. In fact, when it comes to clothing, the quality pieces lasted and got so much wear, for me, they wind up feeling the most economical.
By looking at proof, we build self-trust that we can face whatever life brings us.
Do the 5D Abundance Transmission Meditation
If you really need support, it’s time to call in the angels. I’ve done quite a few of Steve Nobel’s meditations. This one, called the 5D Abundance Transmission, I did at bedtime for seven consecutive days, and that same week I started to have new ideas on where I wanted to go professionally. Clarity precedes action. Often, we think we don’t have the energy to do more work to make change, but once we have clarity on why we want to do something (for me, it was launching a podcast), we suddenly have energy. The steps are laid out. There’s less self doubt, and so the action comes smoothly.
Hope these tips support you on your journey. If you try this meditation, I would love to hear how it goes for you!
